Most parents recognize that life is as busy as ever. We are often in a state of scrambling to make breakfast; get the kids to school; get to work; pick kids up; drop everyone where they need to be for after school events and somehow fit in family time? HA!   And then there is the 24/7 constant emails, texts and phone messages that keep us constantly energetically engaged outside our home.

 

At the same time, our children crave our focused, undivided, undistracted, attention.   Although as they get older they may begin to look busier and busier, the reality is that they are just engaged in the busy energy they see around them. Yet what many parents find is the more focused, unstructured time they give to their children, the less acting out, demanding or disrespectful they behave. Often the acting out or misbehaving is an unconscious way in which to get the attention they are craving.

 

Some simple ways to carve out Time for one another:

 

1. Rally for Family Play Time

Let everyone in the family help brainstorm ideas of fun things for the family to do together. Setting parameters around what kinds of ideas can be placed in the hat; how much time is going to be devoted to FPT; and giving each member an opportunity to choose from the list.    

 

OR in order to achieve supreme parental happiness, choose a couple things you would enjoy and let the kids pick which options they like best.  

 

Most important for success:  

*Clear your schedule;  hide your I-thing under the bed;  hide their I-thingys; and put some entertaining or soothing music on.   Even just 15-20 minutes of undivided attention can have a huge positive impact in the connection family members feel towards one another.

 

             2. Consciously shutting down electronics.

             Many kids have learned through trial and error that they will not truly get their parents attention if their parents are engaged in electronics. In the same way many parents have learned they can’t get their kids attention when they are staring at a screen. Becoming a role model where you pay attention to what your child may need and turn off the computer before responding.  

 

3. Engaging with Technology to engage in what they love.

Technology can be used to foster wonderful connections.

My daughter loves music and she will often want to have me listen to her songs and music. Sometimes we’ll put one of her songs on You Tube with the lyrics and sing them together.

I have found that I actually really enjoy much of her music and she enjoys that I love what she loves. We have also put on Dance Party video game on television and danced to some of the songs together in fun (or funny) competition.

 

Seeking your child out daily to make a meaningful connection even with all the crazy busy-ness we all suffer from can make a world of difference in how your child responds to you the rest of the day and week. Take some time to do an experiment and see how making additional meaningful